Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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