whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
