Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
