his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
