she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
