Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
