why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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