It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
As shirtless as possible
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
