can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
