Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
