It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
