We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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