this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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