Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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