I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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