Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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