i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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