why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
please come you make the beer taste better
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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