butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Randomize
