Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
