need another drink. this is the easiest way
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
