At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
