i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
