The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
