Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
