Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
PANTIES FOUND
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