If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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