Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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