I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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