i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
