He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
