This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
