So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just pee around me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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