I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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