wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
