i may or may not be watching the land before time
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
