My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
