wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
