There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
