i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
