can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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