Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
