he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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