with your own penis?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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