i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
