Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pooping to opera.
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