i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
