I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
