i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
