Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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