when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
