It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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