he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
