I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do vagina's smell?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
