he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
