Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
