How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
